My Obnoxious, Irritating Fiance
by Felicity Dream
Summary: Based off the show "My Big, Fat Obnoxious Fiance" and the characters are most likely to be OOC. Mwahahaha! Then again, where's the fun with them being in character? Warning: Impossible pairing, OCCness, and whatever else that'll be in there. Indefinite hiatus and needed Rewrite.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon, Weiss Kreuz, or this idea. The idea came from a new reality show. It's called, "My Big, Fat, Obnoxious Fiancé."

My Obnoxious, Irritating Fiancé 

Usagi Tsukino couldn't believe she was agreeing to this. She was going to go on a reality show. If she did this con with this other guy then she would have half a million dollars. Half a million dollars to convince her family and friends that she fell in love with this guy on a reality show and have their blessings for the wedding. 

She waited with baited breath as she waited with the host for her fiancé. She couldn't believe that none of the bishies that were there earlier was going to be her fiancé. However, she forgot about those men as soon as she saw the one guy who was going to play the role of her partner.

"Usagi, meet Bradley Crawford!" The host beside her smirked, but Usagi just gaped at the man coming out of the curtains. He had dark blue hair. His eyes were golden-brown and he had the most beautiful face on a man she had ever seen. In all truth, he looked absolutely gorgeous. 

He walked toward her with a casual grace and he smiled at her when he was at arms length. "Kon'nichi wa. Watashi wa Crawford, Bradley desu ka. It's a pleasure to meet you." She closed her mouth slowly and gazed at him through dreamy eyes. 

"Wa-wa-watashi wa Tsukino Usagi desu ka. I return that pleasure…" She gave a weak smile. She was going to be _his_ fiancé?

This was going to be easy. Not only did she have a handsome "fiancé", but also he looked like the kind of guy who could pull this off. That $250,000 was theirs.

INTERVIEWS 

Host: Do you think you can do this?

Usagi: Hai. I believe that this will be easy. Saaa. Crawford-san looks…*blushes*

Host: Lovely. You think he's good enough to eat, right?

Usagi: *eyes widen and blushes even more* I-I-I…anno…hai…

Host: *smirks* That's even more lovely. So, what are your feelings on accepting this challenge?

Usagi: I don't really know. I guess I feel excited and scared at the same time. I mean I'm excited at the aspect of doing something so…daring. And I'm scared because I'm not sure if I can do this.

Host: What do you think of Bradley Crawford so far? Other than his looks of course…

Usagi: He's…he seems sophisticated. I like how he seems to have this confident air around him. And he seems to know what he's doing. Unlike me who's just going to go with the flow.

Host: Domo arigato, Usagi. We'll tune in next time with your next interview.

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~

Host: Usagi Tsukino doesn't know we've hired an actor to play her fiancé. There is always a catch. Bradley Crawford will do everything he can to annoy, irritate, and make her hate him. That means he has to make things hard for Usagi. Things just got a lot more interesting. With a great body and face, he should be the perfect fiancé and with his entrance, Usagi definitely thinks so. However, first meetings can be deceiving…

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~

Crawford: As you know I have to basically make things impossible for Ms. Tsukino. I have to make it hard to believe that I'm her fiancé. She has no idea what I'm really there for and that I'm an actor. And I can't have her find out either. 

_FINIS INTERVIEWS_

Usagi gaped at the mansion she was looking at. This was the place they were going to stay at? No way…

They entered the place and they started the tour.

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~

In the Koneko Sumi Ie, Ken couldn't believe his eyes. Crawford, one of Weiss's current enemies was on a reality show?! Ken didn't know whether to laugh or scream…Unfortunately for him, he had spilled the popcorn he was eating when he had scrambled up and went closer to the screen. What was lucky for him was that the others weren't there. But that sill didn't mean he could have his face glued to the TV.


	2. Day One

Disclaimer: I don't own it because I really am broke in terms of the economy…

* * *

My Obnoxious, Irritating Fiancé 

The tour had been fairly short. Usagi was impressed by her "fianc". He had shown a great deal of manners, sophistication, and politeness. She liked him a lot so far. And he was American. He kept calling her Miss Usagi or Miss Tsukino. It was nice actually.

However she put a stop to it because she usually didn't like being called on formally. "Please, call me Usagi or Usagi-chan. We are going to be friends, ne? All my friends call me that."

Later on, they were about to go their separate ways when Crawford yelled out for her to hold up. "Say, don't I get a goodnight kiss?" Usagi's eyes widened just like it did at her first interview for the show. She sheepishly walked over to where he was at and leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek. After all, sooner or later she'd have to do things like this with him. Although, she wouldn't mind…

However, at the last minute he turned his head and her lips touched his instead. She jerked her head back, making the kiss chaste and quick. Blushing madly, Usagi scurried off to her room in a fast pace.

And throughout that night, all Usagi could think of was how his lips were. Soft, strawberry-like taste, and teasing.

She never had this feeling either. The one with butterflies fluttering around in her stomach. Never had it…not even with Mamoru.

She smiled dreamily, but quickly reminded herself that this was for the money. After all, she and Mamoru only separated for some time to themselves. She still had to marry Mamoru because of Crystal Tokyo and Chibi-Usa. Well, it wasn't all for the money. Not even. She just wanted to do something fun and spontaneous before she had to give it all up and become Neo Queen Serenity. She wanted something to remember her childhood and teenage years by. She wanted to have the best last memories before she was forced to grow up…

Now this was the hard part. Convincing everyone that she wasn't in love with Mamoru and convincing Mamoru himself. Although, she wasn't even sure if she even loved Mamoru that way anymore.

She could think herself to oblivion in the morning. Right now she was going to dream about a bishonen sleeping a hall away.

* * *

It was the next morning and Usagi woke up bright and early. Which was unusual because she always slept in. She got up and noticed the room she was in. For a second there, she had thought that everything had been a dream.

She half smiled and walked towards her door. Her destination was the kitchen.

As soon as she reached it, she smelled delicious scents. Entering the kitchen was even better. She inhaled the smells and grinned. She began to dig in.

When she was done she walked to the dining room, having already eaten the food in the kitchen, and saw to her delight that Crawford was just eating. She slid into a seat near him; about two chairs away ('_No need to be too comfortable.'_) and decided to attempt a talk with him. She froze, however, when she saw some kind of look on his face and she didn't know if it was one she would like.

She started a sentence out weakly, "Ohayo…ahhh…how is breakfast?" He smiled and nodded at her. She blinked. '_Okay, NOT a talkative person…'_ She shrugged and continued to talk. "Well, did you try the Belgian Waffle? I thought that was really good. 'Specially the chocolate." He nodded and she was about to get frustrated at his lack of talking until, "You ate already?" Finally!

"Hai. What time did you get up?" She saw him shrugged and she mentally sighed at his talking skills. Well, she _had _thought that he was going to be a bit more social. And of course, she thought he would be a perfect companion. He would other than the fact it seemed he didn't speak much.

Tough luck for her. She guessed she could live two days without talking. That is until she got to meet up with her friends again. It was going to be boring for a while though. Ugh.

She layed her head on her hand and incidentally it was facing towards Crawford. It was such a nice sight that she didn't feel like moving the other way, no matter how grumpy she was at him. She blinked.

Did he just lick his lips? Wait a second…for a second it looked like he had started licking his fingers. So what if there was cream smeared all over them from the pie that had been one of the desserts? He shouldn't be licking them like that!

He just looked over at her too. Now there was no mistake on what he was doing. He smirked and continued. There was barely any cream left. She blushed and she got up and quickly scurried out of the room. That was way too intimate for her. She and Mamoru hadn't even gone past kissing yet. Even from a small distance away, Usagi was still blushing.

She slowed down to a walk. She still couldn't believe he would flirt with her like that. She thought this was just for the money. There was no way he would flirt with her. After all, she was childish, not really that pretty, and she was just immature.

Damn, she had a really low self-esteem. What she needed to do is stop hyperventilating and just breathe in and out. In and out.

Oh, who was she kidding? How was she going to survive?

* * *

After the little incident, Usagi had taken a shower and locked herself in her room all day. She was still embarrassed over being so shy.

It was about mid afternoon and she was getting hungry. She looked to the digital clock and it read about 3 o'clock. She sighed. Maybe he was in his room. Slowly, Usagi snuck out and crept to the kitchen. She saw a note stuck on the fridge. It read:

_Usagi, I've just informed Crawford that your days have just started. That means that today is Day 1. You now have 11 days left to convince your parents, your friends, and your ex that you have fallen in love with a guy on a reality show. I wish you luck in succeeding._

_Anita (The host)_

Usa furrowed her eyebrows in frustration. 11 days? How was she going to convince her family and friends? Or her ex for that matter?

"You should relax more. All your worrying will give you a big headache. Not to mention a grumpy attitude." Great. Mr. I Don't Really Talk But Decided To Talk Now was here by her side. He was reading the letter over her shoulder. "You know, Anita really would have wanted to have seen you. However, you were locked up in your room. Got to respect privacy after all. So I didn't come and get you."

She glared at him and moved to grab some food. "No need. I've already heated you up some food. Here."

"What? How did you know I was going to get food?" In a moment of surprise, Usagi didn't catch Crawford moving. He had planted a kiss on her nose and backed off quickly. He smirked and handed her the plate of food. "I'm clairvoyant."

Oh great. She needed Ami to go look up that word. She didn't know what a damn clairvoyant was…

* * *

It was dark. Usagi had been avoiding Crawford for the rest of the day. However, it was now evening. She didn't know if she could keep this up any longer. Heck, she didn't even know if he was just teasing and she was just over reacting.

She just didn't want to embarrass herself. Actually though, she thought the whole thing was going too fast. And she still didn't know if she could pull this off.

Fact was, Minako or Rei would be better suited for this. Not only would they know what to do, but also they'd have an easy time convincing everyone. Usagi knew that she would fall for the act.

It wasn't that she was gullible. Even if a lot of people thought that. And maybe she was. But it was mostly because she believed in true love. If Minako or Rei had said they had fallen in love with a guy on a reality show, Usagi would believe it without a second thought. It was just the way she was. She didn't just believe in true love, she also trusted easily.

It wasn't her fault that she was like that. Her trusting people was like breathing. It came naturally. And now she was beginning to trust Crawford and he turns out to be a big flirt. Swear, she thought he'd be one of those politicians or something.

She turned a corner and listened for any sounds. Basically, she was lurking around in the shadows, darken corners, etc. That's what she was getting for trying to avoid Crawford. She sighed quietly.

Apparently, not quiet enough.

"Kon'ban wa, Usagi. How are you? How's the sneaking around?" She blushed a little and started to stutter. "Anno…er…ahhh…I-I-I've been d-doing fine. Er…How about you?" He smiled cheekily. "Fine, fine. I've been missing you. It's lonely here without you, actually."

She became even shyer and her stuttering became worse. "N-n-nani? I-ah-I've g-g-g-got t-to g-go. Anno, ja!" And she ran the hell away from him to her room.

In there, she gave a sigh of relief. Immediately, Usagi changed her clothes to her pajamas. She decided that was enough outing for the day. However, when she was just about to get into the bed the phone rang. Curious to know who would call she answered.

"Moshi moshi. Who is this?" When she heard the voice she became frustrated. "Just called to talk to you. Where did you go anyway? Don't tell me you went back to your room…I mean my wife-to-be should start sharing the bed, ne? Unless you want me to come over there? Well, in that case I'll be right there!"

He hung up and Usagi cursed her bad fortune.

Back to where Crawford was at with his cell phone in one hand, he started to lightly chuckle. He hid his phone back into his bag and started to head for Usagi's room.

When he was finally there he knocked. "Open up, love." He heard a muffled "No!" coming from the other side of the door. He tried another tactic. "Oh love! Please! Don't be angry at your fiancé! It should be treason for me to go on living without you. I fear that I shall kill myself should you choose to be angry at me forever."

Usagi raised an eyebrow at his choice of words. _'What is he doing? Is_ _he trying to pull a Shakespeare? There he goes again…'_

"Usagi, Usagi! Thy heart bleeds for you! Cease your anger and forgive me so…for without your forgiveness I fear I cannot live." Usagi unsuccessfully tried to stop her giggles. Oh, but this was way funny.

With Crawford, you could see a smirk coming onto his face. "If one can truly live without your light, then not only are they crazy…I fear that I will not be able to be that one." That was the last straw, Usagi started to let out full-blown laughter.

"So, does this mean that you are no longer angry, dear beloved? Have you truly forgiven me? And that would also mean that I shall now be able to share your bed." Usagi, even through her laughter, replied with, "In your dreams! You just stay outside my door, _dear beloved_." Usagi let out one last giggle and fell to sleep.

Even though he failed, Crawford was still smirking. It was all very amusing. However, Crawford checked the door because due to a vision he had seen that she would forget to lock her door. And he was right.

One more way to annoy her. One more way to be amused.

Damn. He was hanging around Schuldich for way too long.

* * *

He snuck in and closed the door behind him. He had on a devilish smile and he crept towards Usagi's sleeping form. He saw her face all content and he pulled the covers up a little and got under them. He still had on that smile and he snaked his arm over her and hugged her tight. Soon after he fell asleep.

In the morning…

Usagi woke up nice and comfortable. And most definitely warm. She smiled contentedly and snuggled against her pillow. Her pillow was the source of warmth and the comfy-ness. Her eyebrows furrowed. Was pillows supposed to be warm…?

She snapped opened her eyes and saw to her confused emotions, whether it was from dismay or delight who knows, that Crawford was sleeping soundly right next to her, his forehead leaning on the top of her head.

Her eyes widened really big and she let out a big scream. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

She scurried to the other side of the room near the door to the bathroom. Her scream woke up Crawford who was putting on his glasses. "Nani? Daijobu, Usagi-chan?"

"You! Hentai! Hentai! Hentai!" Usagi had her pillow with her, clutched to her chest. She threw it at him and he ducked. She scowled and repeated the action with other things. Her lamp, brush, clothes that she hadn't finished packing up, etc. They all missed their target who by now was amazed at the speed the other was throwing things. He stumbled his way out of the room, still dodging objects. The door was still open so he could still see her as he began to move away from her room.

However, before he could really get away, Anita appeared. "Eh? What's going on?"

Usagi yelled out something before Crawford could. "HIM! He's a hentai! Get that ecchi out of here right now!" Anita blinked and turned to Crawford. "What did you do?" He rolled his eyes. "Saaa. It was nothing. I just wanted to share the bed with my fiancé, okay? I just wanted to show some "affection".

"Shimatta! That bakayaro crept into my room last night and I was sleeping! He slept in the same bed as me!" Usagi dished out the words heatedly. Anita just shrugged. "It's interview time. You could rant there if you like…?"

INTERVIEWS: USAGI

He's unbelievable! He thinks he can be some dream guy and then become a pervert. How dare he! This is so not what I want! Ohhhh. He is such a jerk…BAKA! Why, if my father found out that baka would be just as dead! **IN FACT, I'LL KILL HIM! EVEN WORSE, CASTRATE HIM!!!**

CRAWFORD

This is amusing, really. She's like a kitten. Playful one second, the next shy. After all, this is what I was hired to do. Become her worst nightmare. Although, it's become funner.

END INTERVIEWS

Anita stood in front of the two as Usagi glared at Crawford while Crawford eyed her playfully like she was a piece of meat. Anita cleared her throat and smiled. "Now you two. Its only day 2 and you're already fighting. Just another 10 more days guys. You can do it. Now, how about starting the new day?"

* * *

Response to reviews:

Hikuyo: Thank you for being my first reviewer!

anOinteD4eVa826: Josh! Watch what you say! You'll ruin the story for everyone else! And your welcome. Keep on at it and don't forget to tell me about new chapters.

yami: I can tell you now that the pairing won't change .

DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!!!


	3. Day Two

Disclaimer: I don't own it so don't sue… 

My Obnoxious, Irritating Fiancé 

There was tenseness in the atmosphere. Usagi glared at him and Crawford continued to eat with a smirk. Usagi wanted revenge so bad. Now, she was not the kind of person to get revenge, but this was personal. There had to be some way. She looked down at her food and suddenly got an idea in her head.

Crawford began to eye her suspiciously when she began to look real happy. He slid off his chair carefully and backed away from her slowly. However, she looked up and that happy, deranged look looked even more prominent than before.

Oh yes. Breakfast was definitely one of Usagi's favorites. As are all other food times. But now it was breakfast and her plan was about to come into action. So breakfast is in first place. She looked up and saw Crawford backing away. She grinned.

Crawford saw the maniacal look glazed over her eyes and before he could react and it was very unfortunate that he couldn't have a vision right then, a fist full of eggs was thrown in his face. He blinked and the eggs slid off his face and his glasses were smeared with the eggs that had stayed on. A food fight? This was her idea of revenge? Well, two could play that game.

Normally, those who knew Crawford would know that he'd never agree to be on this show, doing the things that he did, or become consumed into winning a _food fight_. The reason he was doing all this was because of Schuldich…

* * *

FLASHBACK 

Crawford was sitting in his chair in the study and was currently doing some paperwork. His scanned over one first and then he began to work on it. He was interrupted when Schuldich came in loud and boisterous. "Bah. Braddiekins! What the hell do you think you're doing working? Come on, have a drink with me and Farfarello." Crawford glared at Schuldich over the top of his glasses. "If you please Schuldich, this is very important. I need to get this done. Go and bug someone else." Schuldich rolled his eyes but left. What Crawford didn't know was that as soon as Schuldich left he had gone and looked up something to get Crawford in some kind of vacation. What Schuldich had found, however, was much much better. In fact, it would give Braddiekins a vacation and himself a bit of revenge.

A new reality show that would give Crawford a reality shock. If Schuldich could sign Bradley up for the "groom" part in the show then Bradley would have no choice, but to go along with it. After all, Crawford has to do work. He can't refuse because then it would be like refusing a mission. And if there was something that Crawford didn't do, it was refusing missions.

So that was what Schuldich did. Once Crawford got wind of it Schuldich didn't know whether to be afraid or laugh himself to death. Obviously, he laughed first then he became scared.

Now at the audition…

Crawford was glaring at everything. The other Schwarz members were with him. Nagi looking bored, Farfarello looking like he wanted to slice everyone up at the audition, and Schuldich was beside him smirking all the while. That smirk was getting on Crawford's nerves, though. He was ready to do anything to get that smirk off that face. Just when he was about to do something his turn was up. He scowled and got onto the stage.

Immediately he could see people thinking 'no way'. He was guessing it was the scowl and the fact that he looked like someone who the "bride" would absolutely love to marry. He'd show them.

He put on his best smile. He acted like the "bride" was there and introduced himself. That's what the judges wanted the auditioners to say anyway. "Kon'nichi wa. Bradley Crawford desu ka. It's a pleasure to meet you." The judges looked impressed, but not sure. One of them spoke up. "You look good. A model even. How can you make the "bride" not want to marry you?"

Crawford already figured out an answer to that question before they even said it. Everyone knew it was coming up. "Looks can be deceiving." The judges nodded and they started to whisper to each other. A few other auditions went by. Soon it was time to announce the "groom".

"Congratulations Bradley Crawford."

END FLASHBACK

* * *

With that attack on him, Crawford retaliated with pancakes. That means Usagi ended up with syrup and bits of pancakes all over her hair and face. She grabbed a can of whip cream and sprayed it all over Crawford. It got to the point where their clothes could only be salvageable with dry-cleaning. Soon enough, there was actually no food left. Both of them collapsed and started laughing hard. Unfortunately, Usa didn't know the position they were in and Crawford did. Usagi's eyes were still closed and Crawford leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. Her eyes opened quickly and she shoved him off of her. She frowned at him while he just continued to have a smirk on his face. "Ugh! You are such a jerk."

They both got up at the same time and Usagi shoved pass Crawford to go to her room in an effort to get clean before Anita came back. Crawford walked on to his room, scheming ways to annoy Usagi more.

* * *

INTERVIEWS: USAGI 

I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of how he's acting. I don't know what to think of him anymore. First he's the dream guy, then he becomes perverted, after that he's so fun to be with, and then he goes back to being a perverted jerk! I know I said that he was cute and all, but this is going too fast. All of a sudden, I just realize that this is becoming way too real. I…I don't know if I can do this anymore. I thought this was going to be fun. Not to turn out to become one huge nightmare. Oh my god. This is too much. I can-can't do it. I just can't.

CRAWFORD

I think I have to tone it down a little. I didn't want to make her break down. I guess I went a little overboard. Now what I'm going to do is just get back to being in her good graces. I slipped a note to her from under her door and asked her to meet me outside at the pavilion when she's done. Hopefully, it'll work.

END INTERVIEWS

* * *

Usagi looked at the note and didn't know whether to go or not. To her, she felt like she just wanted to quit. Sure, all it was were stolen kisses and the bed sharing thing. Not to mention the "cream incident". But these were problems to her because she didn't have any experience with things like that. The only guy she had ever been with was Mamoru. Melvin didn't even count. This was more like Demando all over again.

She sighed and finally decided to go.

At the pavilion, Crawford stood waiting for Usagi. He saw her come out and walk towards him. It was now time to play Prince Charming. He held the miniature bouquet in his left hand and held out his right. "Ohayo, Usagi. These are for you." She looked surprised and smiled gratefully at him. She took them and Crawford grabbed her hand. He led her through the lawn of the backyard and they talked about their game plan.

"Right. If we're going to pull this off we can't have you have this multiple personality or something. You can't be this jerk or ecchi. My parents won't accept it and I know my friends will find out if you did act like that. My friends know me very well and know I would never go with someone so _insufferable._ Just act like when you first met me. The suave debonair, you know? You do know $50,000 is at stake here, right?"

"Hai. I'll try to be like that, but it's just that I can't help myself sometimes. I want to do something right and then I just screw up. Things just come up wrong and I say stupid things or do stupid things." Things were going good.

"Okay! Now let's bump fists on this." He grinned back at her and they bumped fists. "Alright partner! Let's do this," in chorus they both said.

* * *

Anita came back and informed them that they were going to have to deal with the first person from outside the mansion. A wedding planner.

Usagi trusted that it was going to go fine. Crawford was great just a little while ago when they had lunch and she was sure that this would be a piece of cake. Oh how wrong she was. For when the wedding planner came, Crawford was up to his usual tricks again.

"You know, you are very beautiful. Damn, if I wasn't going to get married to her, I'd ask you out." Usagi was in denial. How could he be messing it up? Everything was going fine until they met the wedding planner. Then Crawford started to hit on the wedding planner! Usagi could tell that the wedding planner wasn't quite sure what to make of this. Heck, Usagi knew that the planner probably didn't even believe they were in love.

No thanks to her "fianc" and herself. He wasn't even trying, but she WAS! All she could do was shake her head and smile reassuringly at the planner. Usagi may have been trying, but clearly it wasn't good enough.

After they had just told each other that both were going to do their best, he goes and does this. They will never make her friends, let alone her parents, believe in this. Absolutely no way.

* * *

INTERVIEWS: USAGI 

We have about 10 chance of doing this right. He is doing whatever he can to destroy what little chance we have at winning the money. I won't let him. I won't let him do this. Tonight, I'm setting down the ground rules if he wants to make it through this as almost millionaires.

CRAWFORD 

It was time to turn up the heat again. So really, I had no choice, but to ruin the meeting with the wedding planner. Hey, this is my job. And actually, I'm having fun. And I can't wait to bug her again on sleeping arrangements.

WEDDING PLANNER

Okay…maybe they just had a fight or something. But I don't know whether this should have been just a fling or if it's really true love. She flinches every time that he called her honey, he acts like a teenager, and I just thought she looked like the type to go for men with manners or whatever and with someone more around her age. Then again, age is just a number…well, whatever it is; I sure hope they figure this out. Dear God, I think I'm going to get a big ass headache with these clients.

END INTERVIEWS

* * *

"No! What the hell do you think you're doing?! This is not what we agreed on doing earlier, remember? Or did you suddenly forget? I want no excuses! Crawford-san, we have the lifetime chance that comes only once in a million here…I will not accept this. These are rules if you want to survive my friends, I don't even know if that'll be enough for my parents.

Firstly, Rei. If you can just tone it down on the laughs and jokes around her, then you got her. She is more likely to like you if you're serious, but can get in some laughter.

Ami will like you if you like books and is studious. She loves knowledgeable people. And don't forget to not act like a know-it-all though.

Then there is Makoto. She's more of a fighter. She might challenge you to a fight and see about how well you know food and if you're a good cook.

Now, you have a better chance with Minako. She'll accept you as long as it looks like I'm truly in love and happy. Make her laugh, joke around and be playful around her. She hates serious guys. _Even_ if they're bishies. She'll get together with one for one or two days, then she'll drop them after that.

Setsuna is a bit hard to impress. Just act like a nice gentleman with class and talented with lots of things.

Hotaru would be like Minako, so you'll have an easier time with her too.

Michiru would be impress if you can play an instrument, more so a violin.

Now, I think the hardest one out of all my friends to convince is Haruka. She'll be impress if you can play the piano, have some knowledge on cars, and can fight. Actually, she's like Makoto. She'll also probably challenge you to a fight. Anyway, she'll be impress. But she won't like you so easily. Even if you made me happy and if I really did love you, she wouldn't care. She's convince that she has to protect me from everything; that includes most definitely men. So tread softly with her and let me work with Haruka. When we are about to meet my parents, I'll tell you how to act around them then. Plus, I still have a few more friends, but they will be easier to convince than my friends that I just listed. So, you got that all down?"

Crawford nodded and said, "I don't make you happy…?" Usagi just rolled her eyes and smacked his arm. "And you don't love me either? I'm hurt…I want to cry!" Usagi did something she knew she would regret, but she wasn't really thinking at the time. She pecked his lips.

She blinked and with eyes wide, backed away slowly, yet at the same time quickly. He smiled one of those devilish smiles that Usagi was becoming used to. "Does this mean I get to share the bed with you?" Usagi narrowed her eyes and grabbed a pillow from the couch next to her and threw it. For once it didn't miss and smacked Crawford right in the face. She stormed up to her room, leaving behind a laughing Crawford.

* * *

INTERVIEWS: CRAWFORD

That's a whole lot of friends she's got. But it's all the easier for me because less work for me to annoy them and more for her to try to fool them. And this Haruka person…you know, she's sounds really scary. Actually though, it'll be easier for me if I focused on having this Haruka stay unhappy because then it's all lost. 'Cause Usagi has to have everyone believe her. And if just one person…you catch my drift. Anyway, she just told me exactly what _not _to do. That's got things even easier. Well, see you! I have to go see if Usa will finally share the bed…

END INTERVIEWS

* * *

Crawford hurried up to her room and stood and knocked before he tried the door. "Don't even think about it!" Crawford smiled and put on his best pleading voice. "Onegai! I won't touch! I'll keep a distance…" There was a muffled "thump!" and Usagi opened the door. She looked into Crawford's eyes and he put on his sad puppy look. "Hai. You stay on your side and I'll stay on mine, got it?" '_Only because he's becoming annoying.' _He nodded his head enthusiastically.

For the rest of the night, Usagi wondered whether she was insane or not for letting Crawford in her bed. Most importantly, she was already regretting it as Crawford rolled over to her, putting his arms around her. Unfortunately, he was asleep and she couldn't get him off of her. So she was stuck in a rather disturbing position, for her, and had to fall asleep in that same position.

Till it was morning…

* * *

Omi Tsukiyono had not been this shocked since he found out about his past. No siree. I mean, to see an enemy on TV…Omi thought he was going to faint. He had been watching the last two episodes, meaning the next one, which is tomorrow, would be Day 3.

It was such a shame that he missed the first episode.

Although, it was his enemy there, it sure was funny. Who knew Crawford would be licking his fingers or sneaking into a bedroom to share a bed or even be on a reality show? Omi figured this would be more of Schuldich's style.

Omi couldn't wait until tomorrow. He wanted to know what more inane things Crawford was going to do to Usagi.

He blinked when he just remembered that Ken was there. Actually, Ken was there yesterday too. "Ken? What's wrong?" Ken's eyes widened.

"Crawford's on TV! And you're asking me what's wrong?!" Ken shook his head. "You weren't there…I saw the first episode! I don't even know why I'm still watching it! Omi, this is the enemy there. I should have already warned the others. We could have had him."

Omi turned off the TV. Nothing else was on. "Really, Ken. It's no big deal. Why don't we sleep on this and talk about it tomorrow?"

* * *

A/n: Right, there are some things that I took from the show, like where they meet the wedding planner. They don't say the same things though. I wanted mine to be a bit more original than that. I don't want it word for word and in fact, a lot of this came from my own imagination like the Shakespeare part and cream incident. Plus, there are some parts that I didn't add, but I might add at a later time. Hope you enjoyed and don't forget to review!


	4. Day Three

Disclaimer: I don't own it. Don't suuuuuuuuuuuuuue!  
Story: The show except with twists and turns. And with Usagi and Crawford. Hectic days follow.  
Set after somewhere. I don't really know at the moment.  
Spoilers: A little bit.  
Warnings: Ahem…  
Pairings: Usagi/Crawford

My Obnoxious, Irritating Fiancé   
_Day 3 _

Usagi was getting irritated. It was about 10 o'clock and she was hungry. However, Crawford was refusing to let go. He was still asleep and she was so not waiting for him to get up on his own. "Get up! Come on! I'm huuuuungry…onegai, wake up. I need to get some food here." She gave a sigh and tried something she knew was not going to work. That is, if he really is sleeping.

She blew a raspberry at him. Not really effective, but she needed a way to blow some steam. He was still asleep.

Maybe if she tickled him or something. Incidentally, she thought of her cat back home, Luna. Boy would she be pissed. In remembering Luna, Usagi automatically went to scratch the Luna's ears. She forgot, though, that Luna wasn't there. So, instead she was scratching Crawford behind an ear.

She heard a purring, really unlike Luna's. She blinked and realized it was Crawford making the noise. He was purring and reacting to her scratching. She raised her eyebrows and continued.

She was wondering how such simple an act made Crawford look so adorable. Not that she was interested or something…

She grinned, "Oh kitty kat…you like that, don't you? Ohhh. How cute you are. Wakey, wakey. Time to gets some delicious food, kitty kat." He woke up and blinked confusedly and angrily at her. He turned to his side, "Kitty kat? I'm no kitty kat…no siree. I'm a grown boy…" she heard him mutter. And he went back to sleep. She wondered if Crawford actually knew he said that. She figured not as that would have made him look like a complete fool. Well, he does that everyday so maybe he does.

Who cares? She just wanted some food.

* * *

Anita came while Crawford and Usagi had just finished breakfast. "Hello you two! I have some good news…and bad news."

Usagi immediately froze. Her smile stayed fixated on her face. "Wha-what is it?" Her voice was so soft. The others in the room were suddenly reminded of a quote, 'the calm before the storm.'

Anita spoke slowly, afraid of an outburst. "Yes, one of your friends is coming." Usagi gave out a sigh. "So one of his friends is coming. That's okay." Anita and Crawford shared a look. "No, Usagi…I said that it was one of your friends is coming. That means he/she could be from either one of you two."

Usagi gave a very harsh, maniacal laugh. "But of course, it'll be one of mine. It always is. Tell me, who?" To say that the other two were freaked out was an understatement. "Na-Naru…I hope that's okay with you…"

"Of course. It's very fine."

As soon as she said that she started for upstairs. Anita and Crawford shared another look and she was about to follow Usagi.

However, before she could take another step, water was heard running. They hurried upstairs and into Usagi's room. They saw her plunge her head into the sink and it look like she was screaming from all the air bubbles. Then she jerked her head and took a deep breath. After that, she plunged her head back in. This process was repeated several times before Anita tried to do something.

"Err…Usagi! Calm down. Naru won't be coming until later on. Relax, you've got the whole day to get prepared." Anita saw that she had calmed down Usagi a little bit and became relieved.

"Why don't you get relaxed? I'm sure I'll call you later on when she's arrived. And that won't be until _tonight_." Usagi nodded and went to her bedroom. Anita and Crawford went out of the room to give her a bit of privacy and climbed back down the stairs to have a little talk on their plans.

Usagi felt better than she had ever been during this whole ordeal. She was in her bathing suit and was ready to try out the swimming pool that she had been wanting to try.

* * *

She slipped off her robe and dived in. It felt refreshing not only to be outside, but also to be in a calm environment. She swam around a little and did a couple dives down to the bottom before she got out. What she didn't notice was that a certain problem of hers had taken her robe and had hurried inside.

When she had notice the robe missing, she shrugged and walked towards the door. However, the door wouldn't budge. She tugged and tugged, but still. She tried all the doors and it seemed like she was stuck outside when she was at the last door and it opened. She smiled and went inside.

She blinked and realized this was the sauna. Usagi became suspicious and looked around as she stepped closer inside. The door creaked closed and Usagi whirled around to see it shut. She hurried towards it and tried to pry it open. It wouldn't shift.

She became nervous as there was steam all around and the heat was beginning to make her sweat. She cursed her bad luck and she started to lean against a wall she had found. She rubbed the sweat all over as it was beginning to feel sticky staying in just one place. Her eyes roamed all over the place, expecting a serial killer to come out. Damn the times she watched all those Freddy, Jason, etc. movies.

She jumped when she heard breathing. She closed her eyes and started a mental mantra. '_This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not –'_

She opened her eyes to discover Crawford grinning at her. She had felt someone plop next to her and had felt that breathing on her neck. She glared at him and started yelling. "What do you think you're doing? Ugh! I can't even relax without you coming to disturb me. I was having such a good day. And you ruined it!"

She continued to glare at him and she turned on her heel. She walked away and then realized that she didn't know where the door out was. "Hey dirtbag! Where's the exit?" Crawford pouted and said, "Such harsh words. Are you really that angry with me? I'm so sorry, love."

"Cut that out. I don't want you calling me love. Now where is the _exit_?" She was beginning to get impatient. "Alright, follow me."

He led them around until Usagi was sure they were back at the same spot. Agitated, she said, "Are you doing this on purpose? Get real! I want to go back inside. It's getting stuffy in here. I'm suffocating." He rolled his eyes.

"Look, I was sure that I knew the way. Unfortunately, I'm afraid that we are now lost. Stupid steam. Can't even turn that off until we're inside the house…" He began to walk again and Usagi continued to frown unhappily at his back.

Actually, Usagi did feel faint. She hurried up to Crawford, but she didn't quite make it. Her eyes rolled into her head and she fell forward. "We're almost there I think. Just a bit – Usagi!" He hurried over to her and checked her pulse. Strong.

He assumed that the heat got to her. It was getting to him as well. They really did need to get out of there. First, he needed her up. Awake at the least.

He shook her gently until she regained consciousness. "Wha-what? What happened?" Crawford shook his head and picked her off the ground. "What are you doing? I can walk, you know…"

"Just stay awake, okay? And I'll carry you just in case, so stop complaining."

She pouted even worse than he did earlier and put her arms around his neck. She lent her head against his shoulder and relaxed. "It's really hot…where are we again?" Crawford shook his head again. "It doesn't matter. Just stay awake."

"Whatever."

They went around until they were sure they would never get out. Very soon, they both plopped to the ground. Usagi stayed on Crawford's lap for a while. She snuggled her head into his shoulder and started to fall asleep. However, she remembered Crawford making her promise not to fall asleep. She gave out a sigh and crawled off his lap and sat next to him.

Crawford on the other hand, missed her presence as soon as she had left. "What are we going to do? We can't find the way out and if we stay the overheating will kill us." Usagi very much wanted to live. It just seemed like there was no other choice though. She was getting tired again. She lent her head on his shoulder and was about to give into the temptation of sleep when she felt Crawford put his head on top of hers. That is until the door they had been looking for all along swung open right next to them. They saw Anita, but it didn't matter. They scrambled to get out of there and they didn't even bother standing up. The quickly crawled out and into fresh air. Oh it felt so good to be in that mansion again.

To Usagi, from coming into the sauna from the outside and coming onto the other side into the mansion was an experience that made her want to forget about the sauna for a while.

To Crawford, as he had come into the sauna from the mansion's side, no longer wanted to explore the sauna that he had heard was huge.

They both gulped down deep breaths of air. Anita raised an eyebrow at them and they ignored her. "I never want to go inside there again…" Usagi made the statement as dramatic as she could, falling onto her back. Crawford nodded his head in agreement.

"So, you guys had fun?"

"Anita, shut up." Both said in unison.

"Just came to tell you that you have half an hour to get ready."

Usagi sat upright. "What! We've been in that oven for how long? No way. Last time I checked, it was only 2'o clock."

Anita winced. "Well, you see, it's 7:30."

Usagi groaned and got up. She stomped towards the stairs and before she went up, turn and stuck her tongue at them. The she continued on her way.

Anita raised an eyebrow again and Crawford smirked. "Kawaii," was all he said.

* * *

Everything was fixed and ready. In fact, Usagi had already met up with Naru. It was a happy reunion. Usagi and Naru had a chance to catch up with each other. Even when Usagi dropped the bomb on Naru that she was getting married, it was handled well.

Usagi knew she had Naru convinced that she was truly in love. Now all that was needed was for Naru to meet Crawford. Dear Lord, have mercy…

And here he came… 

Usagi winced waiting for the inevitable. He never failed to disappoint her. As soon as he came he walked over to Usagi and gave her a peck on the lips. Her left eye twitched.

Crawford then walked over to Naru who had hearts in her eyes. He reached over to shake her hand when he knocked over a glass of water, which landed on Naru's blouse. "I'm very sorry. I'm a bit clumsy at times. Here let me help."

Naru shook her head, amazingly still with hearts in her eyes. "That's okay. I'm fine. No harm done."

As Crawford continued to help Naru clean up, Naru looked over to Usagi and winked. However, those hearts began to disappear as time wore on. Crawford made lewd jokes (probably got them from Schuldich), and spilled even more glasses (preferably on Naru…), and Naru noticed that Usagi's eye began to twitch even more than earlier.

"Err…Crawford-san. What's wrong with Usagi?" Crawford replied headily with, "Oh, she's on her period. Pretty grumpy, ain't she?" Usagi let out a great roar and grabbed her butter knife and started after Crawford, who realized that Usagi was going to castrate and murder him, had ran off. Naru ran after Usagi, in an effort to calm her down.

It took a long while for the commotion to stop. Crawford and Naru managed to tie her up and she still had that homicidal look in her eyes. Crawford managed to make a dirty joke even though he was had close to death. "Kinky. Maybe I should keep Usagi like that even after you leave. Ohh, maybe a threesome, ne?"

Naru smacked him upside the head and Usagi started to struggle even more from her restraints. "Okay, okay. No threesome…I'll just keep Usagi like that though."

Naru rolled her eyes. "You do that. Just not for the reasons you're thinking of. If you let her go, she's going to ravage you. And probably not the way you want it either…"

After that, Naru had to leave. Crawford was lying on the couch, legs propped up and over the other side. "So, Usagi. What are we going to do? You're tied up and I'm. Not."

Usagi glared at him from where she was restricted. He smirked back at her.

* * *

**_INTERVIEWS:_**

USAGI 

One of these days, I'll kill him! He will die! DIE!

CRAWFORD 

Hahahahaha! This is great. You know I was thinking of doing something like this when her family comes…

NARU 

At first I was like, "Hell ya, Usa! You go girl!" Because she had this handsome guy and then he turns out to need a little work. I could see Usa got a little irritated. I'm not sure whether or not they're in love, but…all I have to say is, "No matter what, keep this man! If he gets irritating, smack him upside the head! For God's sake, he's probably one of the hottest men on Earth. Don't go giving that up, 'Sagi."

Ahem. That's all.

END INTERVIEWS

* * *

Anita came in to see a very unusual scene. Usagi was still tied up and Crawford was still lying down on the couch, this time on his side so that he was facing Usagi.

"Ahem, I have another surprise." You could see Usagi ranting off because her head was moving up and down and the gag couldn't hide the sounds coming from her mouth.

"Anno…you, ah, have to call your families and convinced them to come over."

And Usagi went off on another rant. The phone was out and Crawford was first. Usagi went quiet and listened intently.

"Hello?"

"Schuldich! Hello? How are you?"

"Cut the crap. What the hell do you want? And how was that reality show?"

"Ahem, I guess I'll just be blunt. I fell in love on the reality show and I want you and the rest of the guys to come over and meet her."

"…You serious? No shitting? Absolutely no shit at all? Holy crap. Hell yeah I'm coming. I'm dragging the others there whether they want to come or not. See you soon."

Crawford blinked and stared at the phone. He barely had to say anything. '_How weird. Schuldich still acted like his usual self, yet that didn't ruin my cover.'_

"That went well. Okay Crawford, it's Usagi's turn." Usagi's eyes were wide with fright and she was shaking. Crawford pulled the gag down and held the phone to her ear. Anita dialed the number and they all waited for someone to pick up.

"Hello?"

"M-mom?"

"Hunny? Is that you? How was your vacation?"

"It was fine…listen Mom, is Dad there?" A new voice entered the conversation.

"I'm right here. What's wrong, angel? Did something happen? Your voice sounds shaky."

"Actually, I'm kind of nervous. I was on a reality show…"

"A reality show? Did you have fun?"

"It doesn't matter if she had fun! Usagi, dear, it wasn't one of those crappy shows like 'The Bachorlorette', was it?"

"Don't mind him, hunny. You know your father's very protective of you."

"Hai, Mother. Now Daddy…actually, it was. I-I-I'm in love with this one for real. I really really want you all to come and meet him. Is that okay"

"Is that okay! Is that okay! Hell no! But I'm definitely coming there. Hunny, you make sure he doesn't touch you."

"Da –"

"I'll kill him! I'll tear him apart! None of these boys deserve you! Besides, you're too young, dammit!"

"Da –"

"Angel, you're making a big mistake. You need to come home. I don't need to come there. You realize how ridiculous this is. I'll be waiting home for you, sweetie."

And Dad's line hung up.

"Sweetie? Mommy's still here. I'll talk with your dad. He's a bit in denial that you've grown up and that you can't stay single forever. We'll see you there."

Then Mom's line hung up.

Usagi stared wide-eyed at the phone. Then she let out a relax sigh. The other two were making sure that Tsukino-san didn't speed over to the mansion and was getting ready to murder the whole lot and drag Usagi home.

"That went better than I expected."

Crawford stared at Usagi. "Better? You mean he can get worse?"

"Oh yeah. Really worse."

* * *

**_INTERVEIWS_**:

USAGI 

I don't know whether I want my dad to meet Crawford or not. I'm in-between. On one hand, Daddy can teach Crawford a lesson, on the other…I don't even want to go there. Daddy's a bit overprotective…

CRAWFORD

I'm scared. I admit it. Her dad sounds scary. Even more so than the Haruka person. A bit psychopathic, if you ask me…

But I sure I can handle him. (wink)

MOTHER

I do so hope that this man is what my baby wants. If he hurts her…he'll have to answer to a lot of people. But my baby has finally found her man! I feel so happy! I can't wait until I have my grandkids…I wonder when they are getting married…

FATHER

I'll kill him. I don't care who he is, if my daughter loves him or not, or whether he loves her, because I sure as hell won't let it happen. My baby ain't goin' to get married and she sure as hell is going to die a virgin…

END INTERVIEWS

* * *

The day was at its end and Crawford was carrying Usagi upstairs. Usagi was ranting whatever as the gag was put back on and no one could hear her.

Crawford grinned cheekily and pushed open the door to Usagi's room. He plopped her onto the bed and then he layed down himself. "Sure was a nice day, ne?" Usagi just wiggled under the restraints.

"Oyasumi, love." And Crawford leaned over and pecked her on the lips. Well, over the gag of course.

Usagi just started ranting off things louder and wiggling even more vehemently. Crawford just smirked at her and held her tight. He fell asleep still holding Usagi and Usagi looked like she was about to murder someone. Most preferably someone currently using her as a pillow.

Besides! If they would sleep in the same bed and just happen to cross the lines, it should be her using the other as a pillow!

* * *

Omi was laughing real hard. Ken choked on his food because of he was laughing too, but then he swallowed and pretended nothing happened. Omi shook his head. "You got to admit, this is really funny. If you forget that Crawford is an assassin and that he's our enemy, you can really get into the show. But if you do remember it, it's even more funny!"

Ken scowled before giving up. "Yeah, you're right. It is funny. I just can't get over the fact that it's Crawford."

Omi smirked. "Think of it as ironic humor."


End file.
